It is the little things

Hey y'all,
          So often it can seem that being a Mom has very little reward. With the endless laundry, sleepless nights, piles of dirty diapers, that could be used as a new form of chemical warfare, and the masses of people telling you how to do it better it can feel like a very thankless job at times. I can't say I know a single mom who feels like she has it all together all the time. I realized that it is the little things that are our rewards. The giggle at the silly face I have a made a hundred times. When she lays her head on my shoulder when she is tired. When she pulls my face in closer to her. Or when she checks the room to see if she can see me. And, yes, even when she cries when I put her down because she just wants to be held for a little while longer. It makes it so worth it. It makes it all worth it. So I have decided to treasure all of these little things because I will not always be able to hold her in my arms or play a kissing game with her. One day she won't really need me like she does now. She may not even say I love you but I will have these moments to know that I kissed, hugged and held her enough so that she will always know how much I truly and deeply love her. For me that is enough to get me through a thousand rough and sick days.
        This all prompted wanting to be able to write this down so that I will remember it. So Evolet has been sick the past two days. Her little nose is running, her cough is bone rattling and she coughs so hard that she gags and spits up. Gross, I know but as her Mommy I am there to wipe that nose, clean up that spit up and give her as many hugs and kisses as I can so she feels better. Naps have been a struggle and sleep has been very little for both of us because of her cough which has caused her to be much less patient than my sweet smiling girl. I say all of this to come to this, today has been rough but there is always good even in the hardest moments.
      After her bath and nursing session we rocked for a little while as she looked at the nightlight behind the rocker. This is part of our nightly ritual. She just loves to stare at the Christmas tree night light as we go back and forth before we read a couple of books. It always brings a smile to her face as she climbs me like a mountain to get as close as she possibly is able. I usually give her kisses on her cheeks and neck to just fill up her love meter. Well, tonight after kissing her on the cheek she turned to me with a big open mouth and kissed me back. I told her "Thank you for my kisses." Like I always do but figured it was just a fluke so I kissed her again on the cheek and she turned and did it again! For a good ten minutes we sat there trading smiles and sweet baby kisses. I didn't care that I was covered in her saliva or that her bedtime was quickly approaching. All I cared about was my precious daughter was saying "I love you" and "I know all you do and I want to say thank you." Now I know that is a lot to take out of a couple kisses but for this Mommy it was all I needed. I made a difference in my daughters life and she let me know that today. All of a sudden my day wasn't that bad, in fact it was great! Now I am needed for some more nose sucking and cuddles. So thank you for bearing with me on this latest mushy, gushy post about my little blessing. I hope it made you smile.
Love,
Lauren
"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Luke 6:45
   

Bringing Baby Home

Hey y'all,
    So what a whirlwind being a parent has been! I write this as I wait for our precious girl who is now waking up from a nap so if it seems choppy or disoriented, I apologize but it may take me a couple naps to actually get through all the events from the past 7 months. Wow! Seven months has really gone by fast.
    I'll start where I left off in our last post. We came home from the hospital with a beautiful baby girl and a feeling of "now what?". Ricky had off for two weeks so all three of us just hung out in our bed for a couple days resting, cuddling and trying to figure out the breastfeeding thing. Meanwhile our amazing community came to our aid bringing us meal after meal of delicious, healthy food. It definitely took a load off of my mind for a couple of days. Our Evolet was a pretty good sleeper from the start and we considered ourselves blessed in that fact! Then reinforcements showed up to help us out.
    Nana, Ricky's grandmother, flew into Minot and we all went to pick her up. This would be our first outing as a family and boy, it was a bit of an adventure. Evolet looked so tiny in her car seat as we rolled her through Walmart and then back home. I have never felt so concerned about germs and other people in my entire life. Now I am not a germaphobe but I could just picture a giant germ in a mask come barreling down the aisle every time someone sneezed or even brushed against my shoulder. When we finally made it home, Sampson was extremely happy to have a non sleep deprived human to play with for a while. Then a few days later we did it again!
    We went out into the world to go to church and then the state fair. I had been bound and determined to go to the state fair but now looking back I wish we would have just stayed home. It wasn't so much the people it was just that I was a new mom of a six day old, yes you read that right a six day old, who had not even remotely gotten the handle on the breastfeeding situation. I was so not wanting to be that woman who let having a baby stop her from life....hinds sight 20/20 I should have let Nana mother me more, slept a lot more and not pushed myself to go out when I really wasn't ready and maybe I wouldn't have become a momzilla. Clearly I have things to remember for next time, haha. So we decided to hang out around the house after that very long day.
    Then our wonderful photographer and friend Amy Smith came to take our newborn pictures. Evolet pretty much slept through the entire session but we didn't mind because it made her so much easier to pose! And oh boy did we like to pose her. lol Sam of course had to get in on the fun after all he pretty much claimed Evolet as his baby since day one. She is such a sweet blessing for all of us. I have truly enjoyed building our lives together as mommy and daughter. She certainly has a big fan in her super daddy too.
    So after Ricky went back to work and then Nana left, which left me, myself and I with a baby. I had three weeks of mom duty under my belt but up until then I had help! I was absolutely petrified about the day after Nana left because it meant I was all alone with my very little baby girl. Day one passed by and the days after that just got better and better. Each outing became easier as did each passing day. Finally breastfeeding was becoming second nature. It seemed to be all I did for a while but I would go through the pain, tears and struggle a hundred times over knowing the bond that I have with my sweet girl now.Within a few weeks the fear was gone and I became a confident, if not frazzled at times, happy mommy of a beautiful little girl. I do not worry about other people's opinions, or parenting advice. Do I listen? Sure, but I take it with a grain of salt because the simple fact of the matter is that Evolet is our daughter, given to US to take care of. So in reality, other people can have their say, but in the end we are responsible for her well-being in all aspects of life. She is a happy, healthy, loving beautiful little lady so I would say we are doing pretty good so far. One day I will get Ricky to sit down with some of his feelings and let you know his thoughts about this time but for now I will just keep posting. Like I said, I have seven months to catch up on. So hold on to your boots!
      Love,
 Lauren

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13